If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
