I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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