I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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