remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
They have beer where we have blood.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
