it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you never un-have a 4some
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
