Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
