I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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