We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
