and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
