wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
