I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
