Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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