i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
