i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have aggressive nipples.
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