I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
