he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
