the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
