No more Irish car bombs ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
