3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
