they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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