He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
