the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
