very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
