So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
