living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
