Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
