She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
