It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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