i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize