Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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