Can Purell be used as lube?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
