I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
