I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
