She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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