hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When are your genitals available?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
