i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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