elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
do nipples grow back?
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