I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
