he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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