Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
