too bad you live with your parents still
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
