i would punch a child for taco bell
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
