Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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