omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
