Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
