Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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