Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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