you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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