And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
