When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Drake has all the answers
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
